精神出轨的10个危险信号 The 10 Red Flags of an Emotional Affair

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危险信号#1：你对自己说，“我们仅仅是朋友”
Red Flag #1: You Think or Say, "We're Just Friends."

当你发现自己这样想，或这样对自己说，“可我们仅仅是朋友”，你麻烦了。“可我们仅仅是朋友”是一段关系中最危险的4个词之一。这些词，通常用来合理解释某些你明知不对的事。合理解释有时可以理解为“合理的谎言”。If you have caught yourself thinking or saying, "but we're just friends," you are probably already in trouble. "But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for a relationship. These words are usually said to rationalize something you know is wrong. Rationalize might also be spelled "rational lies."

危险信号#2：你对他或她陷入幻想中

Red Flag #2: You Daydream About Him or Her

这应该是一个呼啸的信号。你对你的“平常的”朋友们也是这样日思夜想吗？This should be a loud, screaming clue. Do you think and daydream about your "regular" friends in this way?

危险信号#3：你盼望见到他或她

Red Flag #3: You Look Forward to Seeing Him or Her

  若你为即将见到那个人感到兴奋，期待，心跳加快，小心了。
If you feel excitement, anticipation, or a quickening of your pulse as you get ready to see the person, watch out.

危险信号#4：你最先想把消息告诉他或她

Red Flag #4: You Want to Tell Them News First

这意味着这个人已经成为你的主要精神知己。This means that this person has become your primary emotional confidant.

危险信号#5：你们分享亲密的感情

Red Flag #5: You Share Intimate Emotions

精神知己的自然流露。由于精神出轨比身体出轨更难割舍，你可能就此陷进去。This flows naturally from this person being your primary emotional confidant. Because emotional affairs can be harder to break than purely physical ones, you can get trapped right here.


危险信号#6：你们分享私密的问题

Red Flag #6: You Share Intimate Problems

当你们分享婚姻中的问题时，事情会尤其危险了。This practice is especially dangerous if you are sharing problems in your marriage or relationship with the other person.

危险信号#7：你相信他或她比你的配偶更懂你

Red Flag #7: You Believe He or She Understands You More Than Your Spouse

当然是这样。这是出轨的一部分。坚信这些会把你从你的配偶那里把你推向另外那个人。Of course it looks like they do. That is part of the illusion of the affair. Believing this draws you away from your partner and toward the other person.


危险信号#8：你们有秘密，并且掩饰它

Red Flag #8: You Keep Secrets and Cover Up

秘密把两个人绑在一起。而把第三个人撇开。Secrets bond two people together against a third person.


危险信号#9：你们互赠礼物

Red Flag #9: You Give Gifts

你们互相给一些通常不会给普通朋友的礼物吗？穿戴的，珠宝或其它亲密的礼物都来自一个讯息：我们非常近亲。Are you giving gifts you would not normally give to a friend? Things to wear, jewelry, and other intimate gifts come with a message: we are very close.


危险信号#10：你们单独呆在一起的时间越来越长

Red Flag #10: You Spend More Time Alone

很多人都说，正是这把他们推向边缘。他们已对自己承诺：什么也不会发生，但是能独处的诱惑和可能-那个人只是一个电话那么远的距离之外-太难拒绝了。So many people say this was the one that pushed them over the edge. They had promised themselves nothing would happen, but the temptation and availability of time alone - with the person just a phone call away - was too much to resist.